For the Love of a Smoker

If you're in a relationship with a nicotine addict—that is to say, someone addicted to vaping, cigars, or cigarettes—then you're in a relationship with an angry person. You may not see it all the time, but it's there. Or, if you've been in that relationship for any length of time, you may have already seen it quite plainly.

Either way, the question is can you have a fulfilling relationship with an angry person? That can be a tricky question to answer because there's a lot that goes with being in a relationship with an angry person. None of it is good.

Anger spreads resentment and leads to neglect or even abuse. It can make it difficult to communicate and connect emotionally.

If you're thinking about getting into or staying in a relationship with a nicotine addict, I ask you this: Are you willing to deal with the anger? Are you willing to sacrifice your own happiness and well-being? Only you can answer that. But it's an important consideration.

Nicotine addiction is a severe problem. It's not something to be taken lightly. All drug addiction, no matter the societal opinion, is indicative of spiritual disease, a metaphysical malady of spirit caused by anger and resentment.

It doesn't matter if the individual goes to church, prays 12 hours a day, or can quote the Bible, the Torah, and the Tipitaka frontward and backwards. If your partner is addicted to nicotine, they need to get help, primarily for a repressed emotional state.

The nicotine is a secondary—a symptom of the malady. They need to deal with the underlying anger issues. If you're not willing to wait for them to get help, or if they're not willing to get help, then you need to move on.

You ought to be with someone who loves you and respects you. No one who has anger is fully capable of that. You deserve to be with someone not addicted to anger or drugs.

Am I suggesting that marital unions with a smoker necessitate dissolution? Certainly not. I am saying there must be forgiveness, extending kindness and love to those grappling with the affliction—gentle in the oversight of imperfections.

Everyone deserves a partner capable of offering love and respect, qualities obstructed by the presence of anger and drug addiction.

Conflict, unease, disputes, and misunderstandings in any relationship stem from anger. It means at least one partner is still a prey to resentment, living in an emotional state. It is an obstacle to one's capacity for love. Patience and tolerance are necessary.

There is an often-overlooked truth behind nicotine addiction that no one else will tell you. Once you uncover this insight, it not only reveals the hidden cause of your partner's fixation but also offers a simple way for them to stop.

This truth applies to everyone, is undeniably accurate, and holds the transformative key to quitting smoking for good, even if they've tried and relapsed countless times before.

It is often unrecognized and conveniently tucked away into the psyche, sometimes for years or decades, but those who are addicted to nicotine aren't just struggling with the substance—they're battling deep-seated emotional turmoil.

And it's simple to resolve, if they recognize it. Nicotine, a powerful psychoactive chemical, creates a false sense of calm, masking the underlying anger and resentment.

If you love someone who smokes, understanding these truths can be the first step in helping them—and yourself—find a path to a healthier, happier relationship.